


Young Volcanoes (In poisoned places, we are anti-venom)

by xxxintothedarknessxxx



Series: My Body Is An Orphanage (We take everyone in) [4]
Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy
Genre: Family, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 10:11:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11415714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxxintothedarknessxxx/pseuds/xxxintothedarknessxxx
Summary: Now a part of the family, Joe wonders who Subdued is, a mysterious stranger appears at his job, and will the family go their separate ways just as they've come together?





	Young Volcanoes (In poisoned places, we are anti-venom)

**Author's Note:**

> Pete is 25, Patrick is 19/20, Andy is 21, and Joe is 18. The stranger with the photo is 20.

Joe never did ask who 'Subdued' was that night. It was obviously a sore spot and he didn't see the point of poking it with a big stick. He did take a look at the pictures on the wall of the living room and try to work it out, but between the kids who names he knew (Hayley, Brendon, Tom), there were more who's names he didn't know. He had nothing on Subdued, except he'd been to the diner, apparently not something that happened much with this family. Not in the 'annoy the pretty waitress at 3am' context, anyway. He soon forgot all about it when Subdued was never mentioned (by that name) again. 

He settled into a pattern of everyday life, school, home (it didn't take long for Neverland to feel that way), hanging out at the music store with Pete and Antonio, bothering Patrick at work, studying with Andy at the library, late at night, alone. He heard from his mom sometimes. It was nice to hear she was doing okay, and she didn't seem to turn up to their meetings hurt, so that was a worry off his mind. 

Before he knew it, eleventh grade was over, then twelfth grade started and he was seventeen. He got a part time job with a small local band through twelfth grade, then after school finished, he started his own with some guys he knew in the fall. They just needed a drummer. He knew a drummer whose band had just become a black hole. 

'Hey Andy, if I knew a band that needed a drummer, would you be interested in an audition?'  
'I guess, who with? Is it those guys you were working for last year?' Joe decides a little white lie never hurt anyone.  
'No, they're another local band I've been schlepping for. They're kind of desperate. This place has a shortage of drummers.' Andy agreed, and Joe didn't turn up to the audition. He heard later from his band mates that 'this guy is good, Trohman, where'd you find him?' he said it didn't matter. They didn't need to know they were housemates, and as of winter, (secretly) together. Andy's face when Joe turned up to practice and started shredding. Worth every second of biting his tongue.  
'You? This is YOUR band? Why didn't you say anything?'  
'Because you never would have taken the job, and you're good.'  
'This isn't because-'  
'No. It has nothing to do with any of that, we just needed a drummer and we wanted you.' 

It didn't take long for the rest of The Damned Things to find them making out before practice. That was fine, they didn't care if the band knew, but they hadn't gotten around to telling Pete and Patrick yet, and considering they still lived in Neverland (ok, maybe they were getting a bit old for the whole lost boys thing, but between them, rent was cheap, they had their own spaces, and they'd since turned the dining room into another bedroom, so they were still taking a couple kids in at a time) , they thought maybe it's best they not hear it from their band, so all practice time in the sunroom was cancelled, indefinitely. Joe got a job as a waiter to help pay for the practice space come spring time. He'd gotten Meg to show him how it's done so he wouldn't make a fool of himself. 

'Ok, now don't drop the plates.'  
'In theory, they're hot, and I have three at once.'  
'That's a beginner skill, trust me. Half of it is just how you look, so tie your hair back and stand up straight.'  
'What are you two up to in here?' The kitchen table was set for service, and Pete wore a baffled expression.  
'I'm showing Scruffy here how to wait tables. He's got a trial down at the cafe on fifth.'  
'No, your girlfriend is torturing me.' Joe complained. It turned out that Meg really DID go for the scrappy type; she and Pete finally stopped dancing around each other and admitted they were in love the summer before Joe started grade 12. She moved in the April of that year, and they were living happily ever after. 

Pete swooped in, kissed her, spent just long enough staring into her eyes that Joe gagged in disgust (he was kidding, it was sweet, really) and then told him to quit his whining 'You'll be fine, from what I saw, you'll only break a couple of plates.' He grinned, then Meg whipped him playfully with a tea towel and sent him out. They practiced a little while more and then she sent him off to the restaurant.  
'Good luck.'  
'Thanks to you, I don't think I'll need it.' He didn't. The trial went fine and he got the job. 

His first shift, he served a customer maybe Andy's age, brown hair, brown eyes, kind of a quiet, unassuming guy, but he clearly worked out and looked damn fine in a plain white T-shirt.  
'What can I get you?'  
'Just some coffee and a croissant, please.' When Joe brought back the food, the guy caught his arm.  
'Hey, do you know where I can find this place? It's a shot in the dark, but there's a sign I can't make out. It's supposed to be not far from here.' The man showed Joe a photograph of an old house, newly painted but not as grand as it once might have been, with a few people stood outside, one holding a hamster. A couple of the people looked familiar. He turned it over. 'Hayley, William, Josh and Brendon-home is where the heart is', and 'We'll miss you, Spence'. He turns it back and looks at the sign. It's blurry, but it's the bottom half of the 'Neverland' sign, all right.  
'Where'd you get this?'  
'A friend gave it to me. I think someone I'm looking for is there.'  
'Who?'  
'It doesn't matter, will you please just tell me where to find it?' The man looked so sincere that Joe couldn't help but say yes. He grabbed a napkin and scribbled down the address, giving him verbal directions as well. He put the man out of his mind and finished his shift. By the time he went home that night he had nearly forgotten about the man, and then he turned up. It was Joe who answered the door. 

‘I guess you found it okay then.’ The man looks confused.  
‘You live here, why didn’t you say?’  
‘You shouldn’t tell a stranger where you live. It’s dangerous.’  
‘What’s your name then? We won’t be strangers after-‘  
‘Jon?’ Joe’s head whips round to look at Patrick so fast he probably got whiplash.  
‘You know him?’ He turns back to the man. ‘You know Patrick?’  
‘You two know each other?’ Patrick asked.  
‘He came into work today, showed me a photo and asked me for the address. Said he was looking for someone he thought might have been here.’ Patrick was so glad to see this “Jon” that he ran at him and jumped into his arms.  
‘Hey, Patrick. I missed you too.’ They held on to each other for a long while before Jon let Patrick back down onto his feet, still holding him close.  
‘I wondered what happened to you, after you left for California. What happened?’  
‘I met Spencer maybe a year ago. He put up a ‘roommate wanted’ ad, and I saw this picture last month when he was moving out. I asked him about it, and it led me here.’ Jon pulled out the picture. ‘It was the only thing I had to go on, but I had to find you, see for myself you were doing okay.’ Patrick let Jon in and introduced him to Joe.  
‘This is Jon, an old friend. This is Joe, my brother.’ They shook hands and shared a smile. Andy walked out of the sunroom then and looked happy enough to see the man, so Joe figured it was someone they already knew. Meg confirmed this when she walked downstairs with Pete.  
‘Subdued? I wasn’t expecting to see you again. It’s great to see you, what are you doing back here?’ Subdued? This Jon was Subdued, the only other person they’d initiated into the inner sanctum of the lost boys?  
‘I was looking for Patrick.’  
‘You know what? I might have to stop calling you that. You’re not so subdued anymore.’ Before he could respond, Pete caught sight of him.  
‘Jonny Walker, get over here!’ He engulfed the man in a hug before they all sat down to coffee at the kitchen table. 

‘So, how have you been man?’ Pete asked.  
‘Good, good, I got clean. 2 years now. I haven’t heard from…him since, and I’ve been really missing home. Been looking for an excuse to come back. Spence’s photo was the kick in the butt I’ve needed for a while now.’  
‘I can’t believe he’s known where you are for so long. He couldn’t have possibly known that it was you, but I can’t believe I was this close the whole time.’ Patrick was still in shock. ‘You scared me, you asshole! I went out to California a couple years ago and looked for you. Went through the…agency and tried to find you.’ He censored, ‘By the time I found your place, you were long gone. I thought I’d never see you again.’ There’s no anger here. Patrick’s so relieved he might just start crying. Joe remembered how dejected he’d been, coming home no closer to finding his friend.  
‘I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were looking for me. I’m so glad you’re okay.’  
‘Yeah, I’ve been great. I’ve got a family now.’ Patrick’s smile is small but warm.  
‘I see that. Pete, you finally snagged that pretty waitress who wasn’t into the scrappy type.’ Jon teased. ‘You must really be a Saint.’ He quipped to Meg.  
‘That reminds me,’ she stood up, ‘we have work to get done.’ Pete stood up too.  
‘Yeah. You’re welcome to stay for as long as you need. There’s plenty of room. Patrick can set you up.’  
‘Thanks, I appreciate it.’  
Andy and Joe soon made their own excuse to leave.  
‘Band practice.’ They quipped and disappeared into the sun room. 

‘That’s Subdued?’  
‘Yeah. That’s Jon.’  
‘Who is he anyway?’  
‘He’s an old friend of Patrick’s. It’s really not my story.’  
‘Oh, ok.’ Joe hadn’t meant to quiz Andy, he was just morbidly curious about this guy. They practiced for a couple of hours until Patrick came in to say goodnight.  
‘We’re going to bed now. See you in the morning, guys.’  
‘Night.’  
‘That’s me, too. It’s getting kind of late. Night, Hurley.’ Joe kissed him slowly, feeling him smile into it.  
‘Goodnight, Joe.’ Andy kind of wished that no-one else was home so they could cuddle together all night. They rarely got that kind of time alone. 

In the morning Jon and Patrick came downstairs together and they stuck close until Patrick had to go to work, and then as soon as he got home they locked themselves away together in his room. Patrick was coming downstairs for some snacks in the evening when Joe decided to ask a question that had been playing on his mind since Jon arrived.  
‘Are you two, like, together?’  
‘Jon and me? I’ll explain it later, okay?’ Joe nodded and Patrick headed back upstairs.  
‘Don’t take it personal,’ Pete said ‘they’ve got a lot of catching up to do. It’s been almost three years since they’ve seen one another. Why don’t you and I go out and meet Andy after work so you two can tell me all about how you’ve been seeing each other for a while.’ Oh, Pete knew about that? Crap.  
‘Uh, how did you know about that?’  
‘Because I might be no good at math, but I can count to two. I figured you were holding out for a reason.’  
‘Yeah, something like that.’ They picked Andy up from his job at the grocery store and they walked over to the diner together, and thought about ordering dinner just to shake things up. Andy slid in the booth across from Joe.  
‘We’re totally busted by the way. He knows about us.’  
‘Oh.’ Andy switched sides to sit with Joe, thighs and shoulders touching. ‘In that case, I can do this.’ Andy tilted Joe’s chin up and kissed him right in front of Pete, who shielded his eyes and looked away.  
‘That’s like watching my brothers kiss. Gross.’  
‘You don’t have to watch.’ Joe argued, leaning in again. Always one for perfect timing, Meg came over to start them with coffee.  
‘I’d say this is a new development, but we all know it’s not.’ They looked at her, shocked. How long had Meg known? Even Pete didn’t know she knew. ‘I left my purse at home one day and had to come back for it. It was like, 20 minutes later so I assumed you didn’t mean to be caught. It wasn’t any of my business.’  
‘When?’ Joe didn’t recall that. Maybe because he was too busy with Andy’s tongue down his throat and his hands up his shirt.  
‘A couple months ago? I don’t know. Wasn’t long after I moved in.’ A year. She’d known nearly a year.  
‘That was a year ago, and you never told me?’ Pete looks wounded.  
‘There were more important things going on, then, Scrappy. What will it be?’  
‘Menus this time, we’re thinking of dinner.’ Andy said. They knew that Meg had sway with the cook and could get them breakfast in the evening if they so desired.  
‘A surprisingly normal choice, where’s the other lost boys tonight?’ She handed over the menus.  
‘They’re pretty pre occupied right now.’ Joe said. Meg left to let them decide what to eat.  
‘So, this, how long has it really been going on?’  
‘A little over a year.’ Andy felt bad, admitting to lying to them for so long. But they’d tried not to go there and all that had done was hurt them.  
‘We tried not to like each other, we tried really hard, but we couldn’t help it. The heart wants what it wants, even when it’s probably not right.’ Joe said.  
‘Well, you aren’t blood related and if you didn’t, y’know-‘Pete could not bring himself to say ‘have sex’ when referring to two men he considered family ‘until you were 18, then you weren’t breaking any laws.’  
‘We didn’t.’ Andy rushed out.  
‘No, we’ve never. Do we have to talk about this?’ Joe silently begged Pete to at least let this line of questioning go.  
‘No.’ Joe let out a sigh of relief.  
‘We felt really bad lying to you, especially after everything you’ve done…we just didn’t know how to tell you about us.’ Joe felt a little lighter, confessing that now.  
‘You really tried not to, huh?’ Pete could see how much weight they’d been carrying on their shoulders over this.  
‘You don’t remember the time we weren’t talking? You thought we’d had a really big fight and kept trying to get us to make up. We weren’t fighting, we were just trying to keep our distance.’ Andy confessed. Technically, it had been yet another lie, one that had brought stress to everyone else in the house, most of all Pete.  
‘Over the holidays when you were still in school?’ Pete asked, looking like a kicked puppy. They couldn’t blame him for feeling betrayed. Joe nodded.  
‘We’re sorry, for what it’s worth. We’re really sorry, Pete.’ Joe pushed his fingers into the corners of his eyes, trying to stop from crying before any tears actually fell. Andy rubbed his back. ‘Hey, it’s ok, baby, it’s ok.’ He soothed. He hoped that it was.  
‘I’m not mad. I mean, I’m not psyched that you were lying to us. You could have been honest, you know that.’ They nodded. They knew that now. They really hadn’t known how Pete might react. Not because they were both guys, they knew he didn’t care about that, but the whole family dynamic was unusual, and they knew he wouldn’t want them giving people the wrong impression of them as a whole. He’d broken someone’s nose for what they said about him and Patrick once. ‘But I understand that you guys didn’t want to shake things up and cause drama. I understand why you did what you did. I may not like it, but I understand it.’ Joe pulled himself together. 

‘So, what happens now? Do you want us to move out?’  
‘What? No. I mean you don’t have to. If you wanted to, you could, but you don’t have to. I’m not asking you to, I’m not, I’m not kicking you out.’ There was an audible sigh of relief from the pair, and Pete looked horrified. ‘Wait, you thought I’d kick you out? That’s why you didn’t tell me?’ Sort of, yeah. Also, there was the fact that neither of them could face rejection from their family. Not when they’d tried so hard to keep it together. They nodded in perfect unison.  
‘We didn’t want to lose you. You and Patrick, and Meg, and all the other misfits.’ Andy said, using the affectionate nickname for all the kids that came through, girls included. 

‘Ok. Stand up. Come on, get up.’ Pete ushered them out of the booth and pulled the both of them into a hug. ‘No. Not a chance. You guys will NEVER lose me. I love you, we love you, and this family is forever, okay? I can’t believe I let you guys think that.’ It wasn’t Pete’s fault. It was their own insecurities that led them to believe that by following their hearts, they’d lose everyone else they cared about.  
‘It wasn’t you. We did it to ourselves.’ Joe really, really needs Pete to know that.  
‘We’re sorry we thought you’d do that. We should have known better.’ Andy admits.  
‘Yeah, you should have. But you do now. You gotta tell Patrick, though okay? I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have a clue.’ They nod their agreement and sit down again as Meg comes back to take their order.  
‘We’ve decided on breakfast after all,’ Pete says, ‘Family tradition.’ 

It’s late when they trudge home, tired and ready for bed. Not anywhere as late as they’re used to, but it’s been a while, even for them. Joe climbs the stairs with them, going up to tell Patrick the truth about him and Andy when they see him tip-toeing from his room. He puts a finger to his lips when he sees them.  
‘Jon’s asleep.’  
‘In your bed? Which rooms his?’ Andy asks. He was either supposed to be in the room next door or the ‘dining room’ they’d closed off and added a door to after they bought the place from their landlords.  
‘He’s been sleeping in my room. It’s fine.’ Patrick waved away the thought.  
‘So, uhm, we wanted to talk to you.’ Joe starts as Pete hides in his office. They were finally in the business of getting registered as a youth refuge for real. He probably wasn’t lying when he said there was work to be done.  
They followed him down stairs into the sun room to sit on the bean bag cushions and talk.  
‘If this is about me and Jon…I told you I’d explain.’  
‘It’s not, but I do want to know what the deal is.’ Joe confessed. ‘If you don’t mind.’  
‘Ok, well, I was 14 when I ended up on my own. Maybe 3 or so years before we met,’ Patrick gestured between himself and Joe, ‘and I met Jonny working the street. He took me under his wing and showed me how it worked. He taught me stuff, things we should never have to know, like the trading value of a baggie of heroin and how to keep clients happy so they pay well and keep coming back; where to get tested for STDs and to never take food or drink someone offers, no matter how desperate you get.’  
‘Whoa, Patrick, I, I didn’t know. You never said, I never thought.’ Joe was shocked.  
‘It’s ok, I only knew half that stuff myself. He’s never talked that much about it, but he wouldn’t be telling you if he didn’t want you to know.’ Andy was sure of that. He was right, and Patrick said as much.  
‘That’s right. It was never a secret, it just didn’t come up until now. At any rate, he looked out for me. I kept a roof over our heads, even if it was just a motel, and he kept me safe from some of the pitfalls of that line of work. He protected me from pimps by claiming he was mine, and he made sure I stayed away from drugs and alcohol. It was too late for him,’ Patrick hoped Jon wouldn’t mind him telling the guys that, ‘but he never screwed me over for it. Never stole from me or left me without food to feed his habit.’ Never left him lonely either, but he knew how that would sound to the guys. ‘We got pretty close until he took a sketchy job and I didn’t see him again for a really long time. He’d gotten in touch with an organization that helps sex workers escape.’  
‘I thought you said he didn’t have a pimp.’ Joe blurted out thoughtlessly. Technically, Patrick had said HE didn’t have a pimp, but why split hairs?  
‘He didn’t. But that’s not my story.’  
‘So, he called me one night, out of the blue. Said he was leaving for California and wanted to say goodbye. He didn’t know if or when he’d be back.’ Patrick looked sad now, remembering.  
‘That was the night me and Pete met him. For the first and last time. We didn’t know the story. Just that he was a friend. Someone Pat cared about.’ Andy filled the silence.  
‘That why you took him to the diner? He got that nickname from Meg, right?’  
‘Right. Yeah. We took him to the bus station, too. We said we’d stay in touch, but…’ Patrick trailed off, and then shook his head as though trying to rid himself of a thought. ‘I went looking for him a few weeks before I found you.’  
‘But he’d moved on.’ Joe remembered from their conversation the other night.  
‘Yeah. I thought I’d never see him again. It’s been almost four years. I can’t believe Spencer found him, either. If they’d never met, I probably wouldn’t have seen Jon again. I’ve really missed him.’  
‘Seems like he’s missed you, too. It must have been hard.’ Joe said sympathetically.  
‘Yeah, but without him it would have been much worse. He’s probably the reason I was around long enough to run into Pete.’ Joe had heard a (probably sanitized) version of that story. ‘We were never together though, if that’s what you were thinking.’ Patrick had just been lucky enough in life to find someone like Jon, who wouldn’t want that in return for looking out for a kid like him, in a job like he’d had, knowing there was no one to miss him or care. 

‘So, uh, we have something we need to confess. It’s actually the real reason we were looking for you.’ Sitting here, listening to Patrick, it had been easy to forget about the cloud hanging over their heads. Pete and Meg took it well, but how would Patrick feel, finding out they’d been lying to him the whole time? Joe knew Andy was right to speed things up, though. Left up to Joe, it could take the rest of their lives. 

‘We, um, we’ve sort of been together for a while now.’ Joe got out.  
‘That’s great, I’m happy for you. I remember when you more or less told me you liked him. Wait, how long’s a while?’  
‘Uh, a little over a year.’ Andy doesn’t look proud. Neither is Joe.  
‘February last year, to be perfectly honest. We just found out that Meg knew almost the whole time and Pete told me he worked it out. I’m not sure when. We didn’t want to lie.’ Joe elaborated.  
‘Why didn’t you guys tell me? I wouldn’t have gone running to Pete.’  
‘We didn’t tell anyone. Until Christmas, it was only us that knew.’ Andy tried to soften the blow.  
‘That long, and you didn’t tell a soul?’ Patrick’s surprised. Usually, he can read them both like a book.  
‘Wouldn’t have either, but we got caught by the guys in our band.’ Andy scratched at his neck awkwardly.  
‘At least you can be public now.’ Patrick said, always one to try to see the bright side. 

‘Yeah. Sorry we didn’t tell you until now. We should have known we could.’ Joe hugged Patrick and was relieved when it was returned whole-heartedly.  
‘I forgive you. I love you, you know, both of you.’ They knew Patrick meant that, too.  
‘We love you too.’ Andy joined the hug in very un-Andy-like manner, relieved, that not for the first time that night, they’d been forgiven. 

A week or so later, Pete called a family meeting. Everyone gathered in the living room, Patrick, Andy and Joe snuggled closely on the couch, Jon still sleeping in Patrick’s room. Meg walked in with a huge stack of paperwork.  
‘Ok, so, we’ve talked about going legit for a while now. We’ve been talking to all of the relevant government agencies, finding out what it’s going to take to get licensed. There are a number of courses Meg and I will have to take, for starters, and some home inspections from various branches of said agencies. We need to prove financial stability, and we need references from the schools, from Antonio-‘ Who, for the record, had never stopped finding troubled kids to drop on the doorstep ‘and testimony from you three kids would help. That reminds me,’ he said to Meg, ‘we should talk to the other kids, especially the ones who went home and see what they have to say. Something written from their parents would be nice.’ 

‘My mom will write you something. I’m seeing her tomorrow, I’ll ask. When does it have to be in by?’ Joe offered.  
‘Uh, just as soon as possible, really.’ Joe nodded in response.  
‘So, what’s the rest of it? Sounds like a pretty long list.’ Andy jumped in.  
‘Yeah, it’s not short, that’s for sure.’ Pete agreed. 

‘Everyone living here will have to fill in some paperwork. They need your ID and permission to complete a background check. They’ll give you a chance to declare anything that might come up before they do it, and there’s a bunch of other stuff. What you’re studying and where, where you work and what you do, stuff about why you want to do this, why you think you’d be a good fit and so forth. Take your time, read it over, don’t sign anything until you’re sure you understand it all and you’re comfortable sharing with Uncle Sam.’ Meg explained as Pete dropped large piles of forms in each of their laps. 

‘So I shouldn’t mention the switchblade incident?’ Andy joked.  
‘Probably not.’ Meg shook her head, having been told that story before.  
‘Or the time Brendon nearly overdosed on red bull senior year?’ Patrick chipped in.  
‘Probably better to leave that one off the papers.’ Pete said. ‘Speaking of papers, has anyone NOT got their legitimate ID papers? Birth certificate, driver’s license, passport, SSN? We can’t afford for Zack’s copies to trip us up anywhere.’ He remembered the false birth certificate Patrick had been using and the adoption papers.  
‘I’ll get my originals. We’re on better terms now.’ Patrick spoke of his parents with neither sadness nor fondness. They were sort of just people he knew. ‘You should burn the old ones.’ Pete figured he wouldn’t need to worry about the kid’s school’s turning their (occasionally fake) birth certificates over to the county or CPS. 

‘It’s going to be pretty intrusive. They’re going to rip through every inch of your lives, all our lives, so if you aren’t okay with that, say so and we’ll back out, no questions asked. At this point, nothing’s solid, we’ve just downloaded the forms to submit an application to the assessment process. Joe, you’re kind of quiet.’ All eyes now turned to him at Pete’s words.  
‘What?’  
‘Is something the matter?’ Pete looked concerned.  
‘No.’ Joe shook his head. ‘It’s just that the last time I did this…’ he suddenly felt so angry thinking back that he wanted to punch something.  
‘What?’ Andy asked.  
‘You’ve done this before? When? You’ll need to write it on the forms.’ Meg said absently, flipping again through her copy of the forms, of course already filled in.  
‘I don’t think it counts if the application was withdrawn.’ Joe said carefully.  
‘What do you mean?’ Pete asked.  
‘My dad. When he was throwing me out every couple weeks, he and my mom were applying to be foster parents.’ 

Joe hadn’t ever been able to tell anyone that. It was unbelievably painful and humiliating to admit that your own father wanted someone else’s kid more than he ever wanted you. It cut like a knife to think about it, because despite his relationship with his dad, Joe had just really wanted to be loved by him. He’s aware how messed up and pathetic that is, and he doesn’t need anyone to tell him that, but that doesn’t mean he can look them in the eye right now. 

‘You never told me that.’ Andy said, laying a hand on Joe’s shoulder. Joe stood up, shrugging him off.  
‘I never told anyone that. Would you? ‘Hey, my dad doesn’t give a crap about me, but at least he cares about someone else’s kid’? Yeah, right, because that’s not pathetic or anything.’ Joe wound his fingers into his hair, paced the room staring at the ceiling to avoid the looks on everyone’s faces. 

‘Screw your dad.’ Patrick said, kind of angry at this man he’d never met. ‘What’s he ever done for you?’  
‘Uh, he fed and clothed me until I was 15. Kept a roof over my head-most nights.’ No one reminds him that his father was the reason when he didn’t have a roof over his head.  
‘Because it would be illegal not to. That doesn’t make him a good father or a decent human being. You don’t need him, and you don’t need his approval. Look at the man you’ve become without him.’ Patrick meant every word. He, too, lent a hand on Joe’s shoulder. Joe turned around to face him.  
‘I never wanted his approval, Patrick. I wanted his love.’ There. He’s said it. Can he just take his medal for ‘most messed up’ and crawl into a hole now? ‘I know it’s pathetic, but there it is, ok?’ Great. Now he’s crying. He wipes at his eyes with the back of his sweater sleeves and doesn’t bother slinking off to his room. 

‘That’s not pathetic. I still want my parents to tell me they love me. Hell, I still want them to be proud of me, and they haven’t so much as told me to get lost in three years, so. If you’re pathetic, what am I?’ Pete asked. Pete, who hadn’t even spoken to his parents since they flat out rejected him again and who was the least pathetic person Joe had ever known.  
‘You’re not pathetic.’ It was the only thing Joe had the energy to say, but he meant it, totally and completely.  
‘Neither are you.’ Andy stood up, crossed the room and wrapped him in a hug. ‘I love you, Patrick loves you, Pete loves you, and Meg. We love you. And we’re proud of you, and wanting to hear that isn’t pathetic.’ Okay, maybe it wasn’t, maybe he wasn’t. He could try to believe that. Not for the first time, he’s engulfed in a wave of hugs from those around him.  
‘I can’t breathe. No, seriously, guys, you’re crushing me and I can’t breathe.’ They pulled back.  
‘Sorry, Scruffy. It’s hard not to hug you so tight.’ As if to prove her point, Meg swoops in for another one, not letting go as Joe struggles. ‘Ok, I get it, you love me. I’m not pathetic and unlovable, thank you. Can we get back to this now?’ He was beyond done talking about this.  
‘We were done here anyway. We’ll reconvene on the subject in a week?’ Pete suggests, dropping a stack of paper on to the coffee table with a loud THWACK, not unlike a gavel banging.  
‘Yes, your honor.’ Joe jokes, before taking his papers and stumbling into his room to cry a little more and think out some of the stuff in his head. He tells himself that Patrick’s right, he doesn’t need anything from his father; his DNA was enough. He takes a moment to appreciate that things with his mom are pretty good, all things considered, and Andy loves him so much. He has plenty of love, he decides he really doesn’t need his father’s, especially recalling what his father’s idea of love was.  
He wants to be alone, but decides against saying that out loud when Andy crawls into his bed with him that night. 

Exactly a week later, they reconvene. It’s the day before Patrick’s birthday, and Pete’s kind of expecting their paperwork already. Andy, Joe and Jon are all sitting on the couch, and Patrick is at Jon’s legs on the floor. Joe and Andy hand in their stacks of forms and testimonies, and Joe got that letter from his mom, so he adds that to the stack, too.  
Then Patrick drops a bombshell. Pete asks if he’s finished his forms and he tells them he hasn’t even started.  
‘Uh, no. I don’t think I can do it. Jon’s moving out soon, and I’m going, too.’ He watches them struggle to react, mouths agape. Nobody ever thought about what it might be like for this family to move in different directions. ‘It’s not that I don’t love you guys, and I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, for Jon, too, but it’s been four and a half years. I think it’s time.’  
‘Is this about the forms or the process? We don’t have to do it, we can back out.’ Pete would gladly give this up for them, for any of them.  
‘No, Pete, it’s nothing to do with that. But hey, it’ll simplify things for you guys, I guess.’ Patrick, again, saw only the silver linings.  
‘You know there’s always a place for you here, right? For both of you.’ They nodded and Patrick leapt up hug Pete.  
‘Thank you, Panda, I love you, too.’  
His birthday the next day would be a bittersweet affair, and Pete at one point would ask him to play something he’d written on that beat up old guitar with “Happy 16th Patrick” written on the strap, and would try not to cry thinking of it as the end of an era. He and Jon would move out the week of Pete’s 26th, the perfect excuse to throw one more party. 

There was some good news, though, in that touch of sad. Patrick and Jon wanted to work helping kids who ended up in the sex trade, either by their “own volition” or those forced into it by abduction and trafficking. They were going to start training as volunteers with some organizations soon, and they found their own apartment not far across town. Patrick had to admit it was nice to move out of home and still end up near people he loved. The new building was Josh Farrow’s block. Jon became a counselor in the end, and Patrick a case worker, both of them working with each other and myriad organizations, such as CPS, the local police, and the organization that had helped Jon escape from his rogue client to Southern California when he was 17. Sometimes they even walked their old beats to try to reach some of these kids. But by far, his favorite professional partnership was with Neverland Youth Refuge, licensed and registered in the summer of 2005, and opened officially on September 23rd, exactly five years after Pete met Patrick on a street corner and started off pretty much everything.

Meg and Pete were the officially licensed carers, from emergency to long term placements. They ran the house and dealt with the bureaucracy. Andy was listed as a ‘responsible person aged 21 years or more’ (read: glorified babysitter with no criminal record) and the second in command when the two of them weren’t home, which between their regular jobs, and all the meetings required with CPS was sometimes not at all. He didn’t make a lot of cash, and in fact, kept his job down at the grocery store to finish paying off the credits he’d earned in college. He’d actually not been far from graduating with a double major when he’d dropped out to devote more time to his new job, but he didn’t regret it. This was where his heart was now.

Joe continued to play in bands for fun, and kept his waiting job, but mostly enjoyed helping the kids who came through (Joe was listed as a ‘responsible person over 18 years’-another glorified babysitter with no criminal history, not yet old enough to be left alone in charge of the house), reaching out to them with his own story to give them someone to relate to. No matter how cool Pete and Meg were, they were the bosses, so the kids took longer to gel with them than with Joe or Andy. 

Once Joe moved in to Andy’s bedroom upstairs, there were 4 useable bedrooms, and with their low turn-over rate, they were allowed by social services to keep them all filled. More often than not, a kid who turned up with no music interest or skill, when they left, had learned no fewer than two musical instruments, and often kids came back to visit, even Tom, William, Brendon, Spencer, Patrick (and Jon), and Hayley, the kids of days long since gone by. They bonded with the current kids and became mentors of sorts. Even Antonio, Guardian Angel of Troubled Young Souls still came around to lend a hand, or an ear, and to meet the kids extending Pete’s family once again. In fact, he was the first to give these kids a go if they were looking for a job. 

Ten years later, they would reminisce on how they became a family, and celebrate how far they’ve come together with a BBQ in the yard at Neverland. Pete would watch Bronx (the result of a short relationship during his break with Meg) play in the sandpit with Jon’s daughter, Virginia (“watch her while I go buy some ice”), while Cassie (Jon’s wife) talked to Meg (holding her son with Pete, Saint), sitting with their feet in the kiddie pool on a warm summer’s day, and Joe and Andy played with their daughter, Ruby (the result of a surrogacy by a good friend, Marie, who was running really late), and chatted to Patrick, who was grilling steaks for everyone else (being vegetarian himself), talking to his wife, Eliza and bouncing his infant son, Declan on his hip, leaning over to kiss her. It was a beautiful sight, and he couldn’t help but appreciate how lucky he was to have such a huge, loving family, even if they weren’t related. 

They were the people called if one of them was in the hospital, they were the people they brought someone home to meet, and the people whose pictures sat on the mantel piece and who were talked about casually in conversation like ‘My little brother works with victims of sex trafficking, I can get you some information for that project’, or ‘My brothers have just had a kid. You want to see a picture? She’s a heart breaker already’, or ‘My brother Jon just got married and…’, or ‘Pete, my oldest brother, runs a youth refuge with his wife’.

Coming into this place, so long ago now, none of them could have imagined they’d one day have their own families, that they’d end up brother, and uncle, that their kids would be cousins and they’d introduce each other’s wives as ‘oh, this is my sister in law’, and debate over whose turn it was for Christmas (“Not me, I’m Jewish”-for the record, Andy begged and Joe quickly relented).

Family doesn’t start, or end, with blood. Sometimes it comes from the places you least expect, and from the people you least expect to find.  
Neverland, to them, was so much more than a place to go. It was, is, and always would be, home. And these lost boys? They were, are, and always would be, family.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N- If someone's interested, I'm looking to find a co-author for a couple of prequel shorts about Patrick/Jon, Pete/Ryan, and maybe Andy and Joe :)


End file.
